The Turks are not rebels. The prime minister can slap one and win an apology in return. But they are certainly proud people – at least social research says so. According to a most recent survey, Turks are proud of their country’s accomplishments, even though there is no empirical evidence to justify this feeling: Proud without a cause.

The survey, titled “Nationalism in Turkey and the World,” part of the International Survey Program, has found “Turks are proud, but they don’t know why.” It also found that religion is the primary factor shaping Turks’ “national identity.” Where are you from? Islam. Which country? Islam, nice to meet you.

It is certainly a source of pride that, for instance, Prime Minister (and soon-to-be president) Recep Tayyip Erdoğan recently scored a hat trick during a ceremonial football game. Perhaps he should never have abandoned his professional career in football. Today, he could well have signed up with Olympique Hamas or Jihad United and earned more than what the fabricated audio recordings revealed he has. 

Turks are also proud to have a deputy prime minister who has declared “women should not laugh loudly in public.” Where are you from? Chastitystan. But Bülent Arınç, deputy prime minister, was angry because the world media picked his sermon on chastity at a time when people were being killed. “Do you know what is happening in Gaza?” he protested newspapers that quoted him as preaching on at what decibel women could laugh in public.  

There is sadly no evidence to show whether the Turks are proud because 1,000 of their countrymen (Muslims) are being killed each day in their country (Islam) and 90 percent of the killers are their countrymen (Muslims) – death statistics should not be attributed to this author, but to Professor Mehmet Görmez, the top Muslim cleric in Turkey. 

Chastitystan may not be the most powerful country in its region, but it is trying hard to be a regional leader. The influential newspaper St. Kitts and Nevis Choice Times recently reported that:

“St. Kitts and Nevis and Turkey have discussed ways in which the two countries can strengthen their bilateral relations.”

Here is the rest of the wonderful news: 

“St. Kitts and Nevis’ Minister of Foreign Affairs, the Honorable Patrice Nisbett held a bilateral meeting with the Turkish foreign minister [Ahmet Davutoğlu], investors and businessmen, within the margins of the First CARICOM-Turkey Consultation and Cooperation Meeting, in the Turkish capital, Istanbul.”
Well, Turkey’s capital is not yet Istanbul, but never mind. Such trivialities may occur in reporting on strategic gatherings. 

More from the SKN Choice Times:

“Minister Nisbett, in his meeting with the Turkish Foreign Minister, His Excellency Ahmet Davutoğlu, used the opportunity to discuss the various modes by which the Federation of St. Kitts and Nevis can further deepen their relationship through closer partnership and collaboration.

“Minister Nisbett took the opportunity to thank the Turkish Foreign Minister for Turkey’s … provision of a water truck to assist in the effective delivery of water services to the people of the [SKN] Federation. The water truck, valued [at] $118,000 is due to arrive in the Federation on Aug. 16, 2014.”

That’s fabulous news! After having solved the Middle Eastern disputes, Turkey is now on its way to ensure the effective delivery of water services in St. Kitts and Nevis. 

As we understand from the SKN Choice Times, the strategic cooperation between two regional giants dates back to 2012 when the two countries granted each other’s citizens visa-free travel rights. Soon, both countries will launch scheduled flights.

This is how great strategic alliances are born and the flow of history is rewritten. Turks are wrong not to be able to cite reasons why they are proud. 

It may be true that their country’s bark is worse than its bite, but is it not a source of pride that their country donated a $118,000-worth water truck to St. Kitts and Nevis? And now they can enjoy their holidays under the Caribbean sunshine without bothering to apply to the nearest St. Kitts and Nevis consulate for a visa.