How economists declare their love

How economists declare their love

Did you ever wonder how economists make use of the dismal science to say “I love you?” Here are several examples, some adapted from Liz Fosslien’s post for the 2013 Valentine’s Day, others my “invention,” and a couple from economist friends:

I don’t think you are great, I think you are fantastic. For what you are supplying, my demand is inelastic. The law of diminishing returns does not hold for my love for you. My marginal return from spending time with you will never diminish. You make the impossible possible. Thanks to you, I am outside my production-possibility frontier. If the Turkish competition authority comes after you, claiming you have a monopoly on my heart, tell them it is a natural monopoly. I don’t care who is in the Pigou club (a group of economists who are advocating higher Pigovian taxes, i.e. taxes on activities like pollution that generate negative externalities) as long as I am the only member of your “Pickyou” club.

Borsa Istanbul is in the red, but I am not blue. Because I shorted the market and went long on you.

Irrational and asymmetric, love is so foolish. But I could not care less. If you are the stock, then I am always bullish. My blog’s host Nouriel Roubini was right in predicting a bear market. I will be, too.

Because this Valentine’s Day I predict a teddy bear market due to you. I would not trade your love for shoeboxes of dollars – or all the gold of Iran.

Turkish credit default swap spreads are soaring. But our risk of default is always zero.

Just as I was about to declare my love to you, my world collapsed with that noise from the street:

Tomato, pepper, eggplant! Their prices surged in January. Rest in Peace Barış Manço

Good traders buy low and sell high. Even though my love for you is increasing every day, I will hold onto it forever. Economists expect the Turkish economy to grow 3-3.5 percent this year. But who cares for the consensus estimate for GDP growth when I estimate our love to grow 100 percent this year?
Turkish consumer confidence has plunged, with general economic situation expectation over the next 12 months especially low. But my confidence in us, currently or 12 months ahead, is rising every month.

It is not true that the Turkish economy grew threefold in the last decade, as Finance Minister Mehmet “Nominal” Şimşek has claimed. But my love for you is tripling every day.

Roses are red, OLS (ordinary least squares) are BLUE (best linear unbiased estimator). IV (instrumental variables) are sweet, and so are you. I’ll never be Bernanke, and you are the perp. Because when you are involved, I can’t adopt a ZIRP (zero interest-rate policy). Turkey ended 2014 with a current account deficit of $46 billion, figures released on Feb. 11 showed. But I did not have a love deficit, thanks to you.

And last but not the least, adapted from the movie “Shakespeare in Love”: If I were the governor of the Central Bank of Turkey, for one kiss from you, I would defy a thousand Erdoğans.

I am a day early, but Happy Valentine’s Day!