How economists say ‘I love you’
Did you ever wonder how economists make use of the dismal science to declare their love? Here are several examples, some adapted from Liz Fosslien’s post for last year’s Valentine’s Day that caused quite a stir at the time, others my “invention,” and a couple from economist friends:
I don’t think you are great, I think you are fantastic. For what you are supplying, my demand is inelastic.
The law of diminishing returns does not hold for my love for you. My marginal return from spending time with you will never diminish.
You make the impossible possible. Thanks to you, I am outside my production-possibility frontier.
If the Turkish competition authority comes after you, claiming you have a monopoly on my heart, tell them it is a natural monopoly.
I don’t care who is in the Pigou club (a group of economists who are advocating higher Pigovian taxes, i.e. taxes on activities like pollution that generate negative externalities), as long as I am the only member of your “Pickyou” club.
Borsa Istanbul is in the red, but I am not blue, because I shorted the market and went long on you.
Irrational and asymmetric, love is so foolish. But I could not care less. If you are the stock, then I am always bullish.
My blog’s host Nouriel Roubini was right in predicting a bear market. I will be, too. Because this Valentine’s Day I predict a teddy bear market due to you.
I would not trade your love for shoeboxes of dollars- or all the gold of Iran.
Amid the graft scandal, Turkish credit default swap spreads are soaring. But our risk of default is always zero.
Just as I was about to declare my love to you, my world collapsed with that noise from the street:
Tomato, pepper, eggplant! Turkish food prices are skyrocketing. Rest in Peace Barış Manço…
Good traders buy low and sell high. Even though my love for you is increasing every day, I will hold on to it forever.
Economists expect the Turkish economy to grow 3.2 percent in 2014. Who cares for the consensus estimate for GDP when I estimate our love to grow 100 percent this year?
Turkish consumer confidence fell sharply in January, with the general economic situation expectation over the next 12 months plunging. But my confidence in us, currently or twelve months ahead, is rising every month.
It is not true the Turkish economy grew threefold in the last decade, as Finance Minister Mehmet “Nominal” Şimşek is claiming. But my love for you is tripling every day.
Roses are red, OLS (ordinary least squares) is BLUE (best linear unbiased estimator). IV (instrumental variables) is sweet, and so are you.
I’ll never be Bernanke, and you are the perp. Because when you are involved, I can’t adopt a ZIRP (zero interest-rate policy).
Turkey ended 2013 with a current account deficit of $65 billion, figures released Feb. 13 showed. But I did not have a love deficit, thanks to you!
I probably won the award for the cheesiest economics column of this year. But at least, I got to celebrate my readers’ Valentine’s Day in a rather special way.