Sorry baby, I am the princess now

Nilhan Osmanoğlu, the person who has gone extremely public nowadays, claims she is the fifth generation granddaughter of one of the last Ottoman sultans, Abdul Hamid II. She said in a public speech last week that she was fed up with the parliamentarian system. 

We’ve made the sultan worry, look what’ve done. 

Dear Nilhan Sultan, there is nothing we can do if you are fed up. You know, it is now the time when the tail is wagging the dog. The islet on the Bosphorus Strait, that you’ve laid claim to, now belongs to Galatasaray football club, thus it is not yours anymore, because it belongs to us, our royal family. Don’t try to sue us, the family is quite crowded; which one of the 80 million of us will you address? 

Turkey got to know her when she first appeared on the Turkish version of “Who wants to be a millionaire?” 
This is an “Are you kidding me?” piece. If you asked me who I even was to challenge the mighty sultan, well here is who I am: I am the granddaughter of Feyzullah Bey from the Ordu province’s Gölköy district and Asım Bey from the Uşak province’s central district. 

Dear Nilhan Sultan, my grandfathers were not Ottoman sultans, but they had the caliber of kings. They were not as rich as our Sultan Abdul Hamid II, whom apparently Napoleon, as you claimed, said that your grandfather was the only rich man after him. Let alone the Galatasaray Islet, we have not even inherited an apple field from our grandfathers, but they both have a fantastic collection of medals from the War of Independence, quite a couple of them. I don’t know how many times they have been wounded in the war for this country, but they have made a good collection. 

You may not be too familiar with those times; your family was abroad I guess. Well, what can we do, when your grandfathers left the country, we formed our own dynasty as a family. 

For instance, my father came all the way from Uşak to Istanbul and stayed in a dorm and finished law school, he became one of the kings of lawyers.  

You are now laying claim to our houses, our land, and our business places. I was able to receive free education in primary school, junior high, high school and university, the very institutions built by the republic and the parliamentarian system you said you were fed up with. Then, obviously the system was not so bad; the education I received took me to one of the “king” universities of the world, Columbia University, for my postgraduate studies.  

I have been writing since 19, you have probably seen some of what I have written in the past 15 years, if you live in Turkey. 

I would recommend you to leave aside the matters that are of concern for Napoleon. Yes, now, I have a life like a princess; that is a separate issue; but the real deal is they laugh at my comedies, they know me, they love and respect me. You can ask anyone. It would not be an exaggeration if I say I am enshrined in people’s hearts. I am sorry, I mean, no offence, but now I am the princes. We are the princesses. 

Well, this is how a republic works. Kingdoms and Queendoms are not given freely. You have to work for them. In other words, women, men, the poor, the rich, villagers or urban residents; everybody can be a king in the “order you are fed up with.” This has been this way since 1923! 

Do you insist on being a sultan, dear Mrs. Nilhan? On your website, you sell Ottoman-style items. You might as well expand this business, make it so successful, innovative and original that people would call you and say, “Look she has become the sultan of e-commerce.” This is the only way it can happen. 

Then, you would  stand before us as an ordinary mortal being, who has gained money, reputation, fame, love and respect with the work you have done, and then mention that you are the fifth generation descendent of Sultan Abdul Hamid II. Then, we would say, “Oh how nice.” 

Of course, unless you have set up amazon, it is difficult to buy an islet with e-commerce. You are reported to have claims on several assets, including the Galatasaray Islet, houses, plots, and business places that citizens have bought with their earned money. You’ve said you were going to take the case to the European Court of Human Rights. 

Well, no. First of all, the Galatasaray Islet is mine. I sometimes go and swim there in the summer. Sorry, I can’t give it to you. My royal family and I have the right to enjoy that islet within the limits of our financial means. The royal family now is very crowded. We have recently become 80 million. So, the court case would certainly take a lot of time. 

This is the situation, my sultan. 

Everybody can become a sultan now, if they work hard enough. Well, of course, you are fed up, this is not easy to digest. 

With love, respect and fondness, 

The sultan of all hearts, Gülse, the granddaughter of veterans Feyzullah and Asım, the bearers of the War of Independence Medal, both of them, who are king-like people.