Our most elegant, magnificent bridge
I would never let anyone say anything against the third bridge, the latest one across the Bosphorus, in Istanbul. That bridge, named the Yavuz Sultan Selim Bridge, has superior elegance; it is magnificent. The Golden Gate Bridge would look like a container home if placed besides our bridge.
As a matter of fact, the opening of this bridge was incredibly timely in terms of morale for the people. Its only fault is the fact that it will not be of any help to Istanbul traffic. Whatever, I would not expect the state to solve all of my problems; I would offer my own solutions to end the bridge traffic.
They have built a superb bridge, now none of you say anything against this masterwork. I am sure Western leaders are having sleepless nights and waking up in the middle of the night to binge in front of the refrigerator, eating crab cakes or leftover pizza slices or maybe the Turkish dolma, wrapped in grape leaves...
Well, yes, its only fault is the fact that it will not be a solution to Istanbul’s European-Asian traffic bottleneck.
This means that you, those who live on the Asian side and work on the European side of the city, will continue to listen to audiobooks while driving in your car and become quite competent literary critics. Also, with the music playlists you have prepared for your “bridge-crossing” times, you will make a popular DJ. You will also be seeing the vendors that sell simit (Turkish bagels with sesame seeds), bottled water and phone chargers on the bridge more frequently than you see your relatives.
Well, as you know, I am not just nobody. I am here to fulfill my duties as a citizen and support the state and generate solutions for the bridge traffic, right? I paid my taxes for the bridge to be built; do you think I will keep my ideas to myself?
Well, it was my idea, my project, I had announced in past years to cement a portion of the Bosphorus, from one side to the other, but officials did not take in into consideration. As a matter of fact, for instance, two neighborhoods can be connected by concrete. Let us say the sea between Beşiktaş on the European side and Üsküdar on the Asian side is filled. This connected neighborhood may be called, let’s say, “Beşküdar.” At the middle of the sea, at the midpoint of the concrete, there could be several residences built with a wonderful sea view and sold to citizens at reasonable prices. Alas, there are not enough sea views in Istanbul. This is a huge problem. Why do all these great ideas come to MY mind? The local administrations are so behind me…
I have also noticed that many neighborhoods in the Anatolian side have a name that ends with the suffix “köy,” which means village in Turkish. Vaniköy, Kadıköy, Erenköy, etc. In my opinion, this may be the reason there are not so many business centers in that side. Investors must have hesitated about investing in villages. What I am saying is that we should change the names of neighborhoods in the Anatolian side, make them sound nice to the ear of the capital. Names such as “the bourse, turnover and profit margin” would bring more business to that side so that those living there would not have to wake up at 5 a.m. in the morning to go to work on the other side. That would be beneficial to everybody…
Yes, they are asking me if I am high. I think I am. Nice. Very nice, right? I will use this mindset very much in the future. Thank you very much…
